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imac_insomniac
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Name: Anna
Country: United States
State: Missouri
Metro: Kansas City
Birthday: 2/21/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: Music theory, singing, show choir, scrapbooking, Macintosh, making icons in Photoshop, photography, drawing, painting...
Expertise: Music, singing, songwriting, Macintosh...lots of highly stigmatized subjects such as mental disorders (primarily eating disorders), learning disabilities, adoption, and such...
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  macluvinbsbfan
Yahoo:  music_for_anna
Member Since:
4/25/2004
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| Look who tumbled in.
Sorry I've been so busy with school. And getting burned out from communicating with people. I don't sell Avon anymore, by the way. Playing phone-tag with a dozen people a week isn't my idea of fun. But I still use their products.
I think I'm finally on the upside of this last relapse. It was triggering, but I'm getting through it.
I've been praying and thinking of you all too.
Sorry I've been away so long, my loveys.
By the way, if you wish to see my myspace, it's music_for_anna (and it's mostly invaded by BSB fans). You also might see me from time to time on the BSB board on the LiveDaily forums. I haven't visited facebook in forever though.
And yes, I did get "Unbreakable," and I love it. In fact, I'm listening to it right now. Yay for Backstreet Boys!!!
They need to haul their asses to Kansas City. But not until I laugh my ass off over and over again at Howie dramatically falling and ripping his pants at their show in Melbourne, Australia. (sorry Howard, but that was extremely funny how you fell and handled it all). In the words of Nick, *to the tune of "Inconsolable"*"Howie did you faalllllll?"
Thanks to fans packing nice cameras into their bras to sneak them into the shows, programs like iMovie, and the internet, courtesy of YouTube, now Howie's humiliation of falling down and going boom splat on his ass can now be broadcast worldwide at anyone's will. And thanks to a keen mac os x dashboard widget called mytube, it'll never go away, because I can record youtube video and export it to mpg4 video.
And Livedaily, I can never get enough of it. I wrote them two bsb comedy songs. I won't post them here, if you haunt LD though, you'll find them. One is called "Livedaily" (the Nick Livedaily song-- at times he's admitted to roaming/lurking the place) and the other is called "Hillbilly Kevin." It's such a flamboyant dysfunctional part of the BSB fanbase on there. And I love it.
By the way, Jason Blume's book rocks my socks off. That and the 3rd scrapbook I got for my birthday were the two greatest gifts ever. I haven't heard an update on Lottie though since December. Last I heard they just had it diagnosed that she has Autism. But, of course you all know, I still love her, and always will, and I think her family has the right mindset for raising a child like her. We've all been busy, and I've been thinking about calling them soon though. Maybe when it gets warmer outside, we can have a visit with them.
Well, that sums up what my life has been like at the moment. Toodles.
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| Face first into the dirt.Welp, 6 lbs wasn't just it. Soy un tonto. Sí. Cinco más libras fueron adiós. Yes, I weighed myself again. I didn't know it was getting like this. It's like, hi, reality check. I have these pants on, that make me look like MC Hammer because they're too loose in the boot for me. I really need to go through my clothes and weed out the stuff that no longer fits. And not lose any more weight. I mean, come on, I'm a few lbs away from being on the border between healthy and underweight. I probably don't look it though. But, oh well. I need control of my life.
Until then, it must be hammer time! *imagines myself doing a stupid dance, but won't do it, since I'm in a computer lab at school*
I'm in a musical phase lately. I've been writing a buttload of songs lately. Welp, it's time to go to good ol' English class. Toodles! *sprouts wings and flies out of computer lab*
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| Here I am, bored, in a lab full of PCs, waiting until 11:50, until I can go scope out BU room 205, to see if my lost knit blue hoodie has turned up in there (or, should I say, if I left it in there.) I already scoped out my Spanish classroom, and I scoped out the lost and found (information and security, in the BU building), and it's in neither of the two places, so I bet it's in BU 105, where I had my computer class. I wouldn't be surprised if the guys in Information and Security know me by first name by now, considering all the items that I have lost during my entire time at Longview.
Whoopee. There's a girl sitting next to me in this lab, who is busy typing up a stupid brainless run-of-the-mill English paper on the media and eating disorders. If only people really knew how it really is for all of us who have struggled with one. Everyone who types up one of these damned papers should be failed for regurgitating the same bullshit and wasting hard drive space (even if it's 4<less than 100K), time for those who are forced to read the papers, and well, paper. Maybe many of us aren't peons of the media following. Maybe some of us don't give a damn about MK or Nicole Richie, Kate Moss, or any of those people used for thinspo. A cheeseburger is not a cure or a fix. Shut up and quit saying that we need to become stoners and we wouldn't care what we'd stuff our holes with. I'd love to slap her for ignorance, but, alas, I always hold back my desires.
As for my recovery, I've been doing pretty well as of lately.  I certainly pray the same for the rest of you. Take care.
-Anna
p.s. I still love the Backstreet Boys, would love to talk to them, and would love to see them come to Kansas City to put on a show here when they go on tour. I can't wait for "Unbreakable" to come out October 30th.
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| "And how long ago did THIS start?"I told mom. Naturally, that was the question that came next. I choked out "a few weeks ago," even though I've had chest pains on and off throughout my life. I don't know when things begin and end. I should keep a journal of all the body anomaly bullshit that goes on. I really should.
Anyhow, with that said, I've been getting an earful about "clean your room, clean your room, clean your room," and they want it clean for Krista's belated graduation party, which I think is the week school starts back. Oh, and I still haven't gotten those brochures hung, but Daniel is so close to being better, so he said he'd help me.
Meanwhile, as all of this is going on, my dad decided out of no where, to scrub the mildew and mold problem with chlorine bleach in our one and only bathroom (he said, he'd enlist my help, but I was too drained and tired). It's sad to know that yours truly was the main contributing factor to the development of that horrendous mold and mildew problem, with my long hot showers (especially before recovery, it was very bad, since you know you can't keep yourself warm when you're anorexic). Let's put it this way, Our bathroom walls and ceiling, once were white. I made them look like a peeling black leopard, even a panther in many areas of the ceiling. It's effing embarrassing, since this is our one and only bathroom, and everyone rubs it in. Well, after being scrubbed down, our bathroom is much lighter, and still stinks like chlorine bleach (dad also accidentally dropped a spray bottle and it busted on the bathroom floor), our bathroom ceiling still looks like a leopard. Now it looks like an off-white and pink leopard though (pink was the original color of the bathroom).
Today, we're going to paint. Yay. Fun. I bet I'll hear an earful more about "never take a hot shower again."
EDIT: I accidently dumped the entire tray of primer on my foot. Go Me. That really got my dad mad.
"As long as there'll be music, we'll be coming back again."
It's true. My boys are back. Yes, the Backstreet Boys. New album. October 30th. Not sure of the title, heard it was "Motivation." New single: "Inconsolable." Hits radio August 27th. They finally got rid of that stupid "soon" thing on their website. Now we've upgraded to a 12-day countdown of some kind. Who knows what it's for. But I'm happy. Of course, it doesn't automatically bring Kevin back. Note his shoes are empty on the pic. I can't tell which guy is which, my guess is, Brian, Nick, Howie, (Kevin's empty shoes), AJ. But anyhow, that's not what matters. What matters is, that they are still making music, and they are the last guys standing from the gone "boyband era". LAST GUYS STANDING. I told you-- these guys are more than just a mere "boyband."
Meanwhile... Look at what VH1 is cooking up... This looks to be interesting... Want to know what competition is doing this days? The Man Band. They took some guys who used to be in the boybands, and they're trying to fit them into a cookie-cutter boyband model, with no cohesion whatsoever, and they're trying to make it work. LMAO like it's going to happen. They've got this guy from Color Me Badd, in with Jeff from 98°, with one of the guys from LFO, and Chris from Nsync. So far, Jeff's being an unwilling butt, the Color Me Badd guy is shrugging, the LFO guy just wants things to magically work, and Chris is trying to mediate things unsuccessfully. Also, two of these guys are battling alcohol addictions-- a surefire need for intervention, and so far, those two haven't expressed any willingness to give sobriety a try (or, nobody is dragging someone out of a bedroom and into rehab either though). But also, they didn't want to sing the 2 lines of the song for the management lady either, because all 4 of them were so damn arrogant. You see, when you have nothing left of your dead-end career, you have ditch your ego. I'm sorry. I think she just wanted to see where their ranges sit, that's all! How are they going to figure out who sings what part, when nobody knows where their ranges sit? And how are they going to get along with each other? LOL
Remind me why the Backstreet Boys are so special? They were motivated from the beginning, and they are like brothers to each other. They've been through hell and back with the industry and their personal lives, but have always been dedicated to one another's wellbeing. They don't let stupid shit like what goes on in The Man Band get in the way. They don't let anything else that's not stupid get in the way either. They care about each other, work with each other, they are cohesive. They love being on stage, and anyone whose ever been to one of their shows knows that's where they shine and thrive. They don't let egos get in the way. They're there for the music. Although they don't write as much music, They more than just enjoy singing. They eat sleep and breathe music. They are truly talented. And all their fans know it. They are the kind of guys who decide to have an impromptu show on the top of a hotel in Rio de Janeiro when 48,000 fans show up in the street to greet them and swarm their bus. And even if they don't have fans of that caliber of a number anymore, they still have fans, and my, do they love them. They are the kind of guys who sing a capella on request no matter where they are, even if the song requested, they haven't sang in 4 years (even if it's in a different language even), and songs that were only found live on a special.
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| Same thoughts, different day. What's new. Well, I've gotten myself back up to eating 3 meals a day, but, sure, I'm sure, they could be better and more well-rounded. I just don't have the patience for food some days. I just want to get it over with, and opt for whatever goes down the smoothest and fastest. Like, for instance, carnation instant breakfast for breakfast, spaghetti-o's for lunch, and soup for dinner. I wish I enjoyed eating like some people do. It's just such a bore some days. And, the longer it takes to make something, the more it sits within my mind, bubbling up triggering e.d.-related thoughts to dry my appetite. Gah if there's one person who could live off of tv- dinners, and other easy-to-make junk it's me. lol
I didn't do as much selling as I wanted to this last campaign, although it was pretty good (reached a hot point, where I just about shot myself in the foot, because I didn't have the $30 more of sales to catapult myself into the next earnings bracket-- 40%). I've been so drained, I keep on putting off hanging the brochures, because I run out of energy. That's probably why I didn't reach $400 this last campaign. So now I have even more brochures left to hang (each brochure can be ordered from even 2 campaigns after it was that campaign, say for instance, it's campaign 16 now, but I can still back-order from 14 and 15). I'm just overwhelmed. If anyone who knows me wants to donate some foot-power, feel more than happy to do so. You can help me hang these brochures, since I am lacking in energy lately. I can do one side of the street, and you can do the other. Sound like a plan?
Daniel is almost better. He's fighting off the last bit of the ear infection. It's taken LONG ENOUGH for that man to get over the crap that's been ailing him for nearly a month.
Anyhow, speaking of crap of the ailing variety, I think the pains are getting worse. I had a pretty hammering chest pain last night. I don't want my mom to be freaked out over it though. I don't like it when people freak out. At the same time, I want to know what's going on, and I'm sure waiting isn't a good idea, considering they're getting worse and more intense. Of course, at the first mention of chest pains, a lot of docs think it's acid reflux-- which I don't think this particular stuff is, considering, I already have that, am taking medicine for it, and it's not like those chest pains. It's not straight down the middle. It's off to the side. And this is more of a jabbing-type pain. Sometimes instead of jabbing, it occasionally makes my chest hurt when I breathe. But it's still more of a jabbing. Area-wise, it's on the left. To the left of my sternum. It's about a little over an inch away from the middle of my sternum.
Ah, that's life. The girl just wants to live. And be happy. Be Healthy. Have Energy.
 | Currently Listening
I Still, Pt. 2
By Backstreet Boys
I Still..., and Just Want You To Know (Jason Nevins Radio Edit)
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